She has decided, my daughter,
that I am not to give her away
on her wedding day. She forgot
to mention it to me, it being
of no consequence to her. How
inadvertently we hurt each other!
And why, anyway, am I grieved?
Could it be that this tradition
touches something deep and true?
Could it be that what I fear
is not archaic but abiding,
not patriarchal but fatherly?
No matter. The minister will
not say, 'Who gives this woman ... ?'
And I will not say, 'I do.'
And yet, daughter, I do, I do!
And I wanted to say it as a gift
of relinquishing and love to you.