Religious Police

'Religious Police':
I warm to that sound.

I find in the mind
they go round and around.

I see them in churches
all singing their psalms,

their holiness matching
the strength in their arms.

'Religious Police'
must be peaceable guys -

their women as well,
selected for size.

Sadly, I'm told that
'Religious Police'

don't fancy the Bible,
are rarely obese

and live overseas
where they flourish a cane

for stopping young fillies
from flashing their mane

and helping the faithful
pray five times a day.

Their squad-cars are certain
what God has to say.

They know their own handbook's
his only true word,

that its various rivals
are wrong and absurd.

They know that their master
can't let a sin pass

without a good whack
with a cane on the arse.

'Religious Police'
have me mending my ways.

There's nothing like rattan
for helping one praise.

I'm halfway to heaven;
with God I've made peace.

He tells me hell's full of
'Religious Police'.